Dear Cowgirl…

Dear Cowgirl,

Most days – I love posting something that is going to bring you joy. Something to help you know you’re not alone, and to get you through your week – with the reminder that someone is thinking about you and loves you.

Damn that makes me happy! When you tell me you get it, you know you aren’t alone and that it helped in some small way. I know the reason I was meant to write, and I feel like I am so blessed by that.

Funny thing is, today I don’t really have anything encouraging or “AWESOME” to get you all pumped up for your Monday.

Today is something I’ve been dreading, the first day of figuring out what my next step is with a TBI (Traumatic brain injury) with a really awesome “Brain Doc” in a different town…and a lot of freaking out on my part.

There are a lot of reasons I’m scared, and although you probably are wondering why I’m telling you thins – I feel like you deserve to know that everyone else doesn’t ALWAYS have “it” together. And I mean that in a big way.

My brain injuries are from domestic violence for the most part…although my missing the pick-up men and coming off some broncs on my head certainly didn’t help! Because of this, it feels like I didn’t get a choice. That what happened to my brain wasn’t something I was allowed to choose to do recklessly, it just was done.
And now, on this new journey of learning – it feels like all those dark old things are creeping up again. And that’s okay. Feeling things deeply is good, talking about them is good – and being scared is GOOD.

It means we still feel, that we’re still alive!

Dear cowgirl, I’m sorry that today’s post isn’t as “uplifting” as normal – but if you are struggling with thinking that you are alone in your fear – please know you’re not.

We all fear, we are all scared, we all are terrified of something.

But that fear doesn’t define us. What defines us, is how we deal with the fear and what we replace it with.

Today, I’m replacing it with excitement over a second chance and joy over new beginnings…join me? ❤️

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